Carter Weekend

This weekend Dad and I headed up to the QC for a fun filled yet relaxing weekend with Carter, his parents, and the feti (plural for fetus, kind of like cacti is to cactus. Yes, I just made that up). Anywho, much fun was had by all, we just went out to eat Friday and then watched old home videos, then ran errands Saturday and went to the Quad City River Bandits baseball game on Saturday. Grace Marine (the Hoyt family business) was a sponsor of the game, but we actually got a suite thanks to a family friend of theirs working for the team. Thanks Shannon and Brett!

Here is Carter watching the game, but he isn't having that great of a time. "What's that Carter?" says Uncle Matt. "I need a beer" replies Carter. "OK" says Uncle Matt, "Just don't tell your mother."
"Ah, much better" says Carter. "Uncle Matt, why are you so excited, you don't even have a drink?"
"Oh, thanks Carter-man. I"ll get my own in a second, but I appreciate your friendliness" says Uncle Matt. "No Problem" says Carter.
"Uncle Matt, hurry up, we're going to the Quad. We're going streaking!!!"
And here we are all passed out.
OK, so that last picture is actually from Friday night. And Carter didn't really drink, but he does love playing with empty cans. But we all really did have a great time!!!

Best Team Ever

OK, maybe my girls aren't the best team ever, but they are pretty close in my book. This past weekend was the Regional tournament, a two day affair to end the season. Out of 90 teams in the region, my girls took 5th place!!! Yes, you heard that right, 5 out of 90. The girls played amazing all weekend and went down fighting, losing a hard fought battle in three games (best out of three) to the 2nd ranked team. It was an awesome year, and I can't to continue our success next season!!!

Woody Hayes...The Cat...The Legend

Many of you may know that little Woodrow has a mind of his own, he pretty much does what he wants to do. If my neighbor is washing his car, he'll go sit in the front seat. If a full size boxer dog comes in our yard, he tries to fight it. If he wants to take a little vacation, he'll dissapear for a few days.
Well, he set a new record last week by leaving the house and not coming back for 8 days. And he didn't even come home on his own, my friend picked him up on the side of the street. I've always kind of wondered what he did while he was away, and then this is how he looked when he finally was home and laid down to sleep. I think I need to send him to counseling or something.

New Post For No Real Reason..But I Might Get In Trouble For This

It's been a week since the last update, but I really don't have a ton of new material, but here's what's going on right now.

- I am finally under 200 pounds!!! It's been at least a year since I could say that I bet. Yes, I weighed 199.9 pounds. Yes, it was at 1 in the afternoon and I hadn't eaten anything all day. Yes, I made myself take a dump right before I weighed myself. But hey, I was still under 200. And at least I didn't weigh myself naked or anything. Of course that would have been akward due to the fact that the scale is in the middle of the workout room.
- Here's the latest on "Matt Mac's Online Search For Love '08." So Ohio State girl, the one that I mentioned in my NascarGurl entry, and I actually started talking quite a bit on the phone, emailing, text messaging, things of the such. She seemed pretty cool, and she only slightly annoyed me, which for me is actually saying something. Now we are both busy, so we never had actually met up. We talked about it a few times, but she always kinda bailed. Anyways, we finally met up the other night just to hang out, nothin big, and I figured out why she wasn't as eager to meet up as I was. Let's just say that the pictures she posted weren't taken anytime recently. How old are they? No idea time wise, but I'd say a solid 40 pounds ago. And I'm giving her the benefit of the doubt on that one. Ok ok, I hear you all right now, "Matt, how shallow of you," or "Matt, you aren't much to look at either," and from you guys, "Matt, were you drunk or sober?" Well, I'm just being honest here, and I was actually sober, although I truly believe no amount of booze would have swayed me. Plus, this means the very first impression I had from her was a lie. Plus when a girl has more chins than I do and we couldn't share pants due to the fact that mine wouldn't fit on her, it's best just to move on. But on the bright side, NascarGurl is looking better and better...

Mom, Katie, Aunts, Female Cousins, and Lady Friends out there...please don't hate me, I'm just being honest.

There's Still Hope That A Hot Chick Will Marry Me

http://news.yahoo.com/s/livescience/20080410/sc_livescience/whybeautifulwomenmarrylessattractivemen

I'm Almost Famous

Every day while pretending to do work, err, I mean while I'm on my lunch break...I check out my usual websites, one of which is uniwatch.com, a website devoted solely to athletic uniforms. It sounds kinda random, but it's actually really intersting for any sports fan. Part of the daily posting is just a bunch of links to pictures and stories related to interesting uniform happenings. Well, yours truly submitted something that got published yesteday and I got the credit for it. Follow the link below, go to the Uni Watch News Ticker section, and it's about halfway down. This article was about the Royals new powder blue uniforms.

http://www.uniwatchblog.com/2008/04/09/paging-pedro-feliciano-the-2008-season-is-leaving-without-you/

Musings #2

- I was flipping through the channels last night and came across a show titled "Me and My Big Breasts." SCHWING!!! "I think I've seen this online" I thought to myself. Then I realized in wasn't on Skinimax, it was on BBC America. And it was on at 8 in the evening. And it was about women wanting breast reduction surgery. Being the typical male I am, I still watched the show though, don't get me wrong. Not too bad, it showed one lady at a modeling shoot with a bunch of other models. That was good. Then I remembered my aunt had breast reduction surgery. That was bad. I then changed the channel and didn't flip back.
- Speaking of reduction, I've lost 11 pounds. Only 21 more to go.
- So some family and friends talked me into joining match.com. Do you know what is even more pathetic than doing online dating? Doing online dating and not have anyone friggin' write you back. I emailed like 7 or 8 girls, and yes I'm sure I sounded like an idiot, but what am I supposed to say? Here is an example of what I want to write back to one of the non-responders:

Dear NascarGurl85 -
I wanted to write you one more time, just to clear a few things up since I sent my first email introducing myself, but did not hear back from you. First, the main reason I got in contact with you is because you look at least semi-cute and showed good cleavage in one of your pictures. Whatever i wrote about thinking we might have some things in common was a total lie. I hate NASCAR, dont' like country music, and am not politically conservative. Also, you work as a receptionist and you're "going back to school soon." Let's be honest honey, you have only taken 9 credit hours at Blue River Community College spread out over the last 4 semesters, so I'd hardly call it "going back" to school. You say you want to be a nurse because you "like helping people," but in reality it is one of only four professions that your family knows about that doesn't require working in grease, working a pole, or anything with the word "-man" in the title (garbage man, UPS man, etc...). Anyways, those four professions are Lawyer, Doctor, Nurse, and Teacher. We all know you can't be a Lawyer or Doctor, being a teacher would require you to spend to much time in a school building, so Nurse it is!!! Good luck with that. At the rate you are going, you'll be a nurse about the same time I'm moving into a nursing home, so have fun wiping my ass.
Anyways, despite all of this, you somehow thought it wasn't worth writing me back. How silly of me, thinking that being funny, outgoing, educated, family oriented, and having a good job would make me attractive to you. I forgot how much better you are than me, working 20 hours a week as the receptionist at your daddy's trailer park, chain smoking Marlboro reds, and getting dragon and butterfly tattoos on your ass.
I wish you the best of luck in your search for Prince Charming, and I hope you have a good day.

Sincerely,

Matt

At least I'm not bitter, right? Actually, I have been talking to a girl for a little while now online, she actually went to Ohio State, the first line of her profile was a Dumb and Dumber quote, and her favorite drink is Natty Light. I'll keep everyone posted.
- Every major sporting event should take place on a Saturday, this crap about having it on a work night is total BS. You can't call in sick because everyone knows the only thing you are sick from is Busch Light and Rotel dip, but it's a waste to take a vacation day. Super Bowl, NCAA BBall Championship, BCS Championship? All should be on a Saturday. Stanly Cup, MLS Championship? HAHAHAHA, just kidding, no one cares about those sports anyways!!!

Reasons I'm Becoming My Dad

1) I now have a skin tag on my neck.
2) I recently swept out my garage.
3) I find myself repeating stories to people.
4) I asked for new blinds to go in my bedroom for my birthday.
5) I have a fully develped second chin.
6) I constantly suggest/ask about baby names to Katie.

If I start making flower arrangements and writing hymns, someone please kill me. Although I am wanting to plant some tomatoes for this summer, and redecorate a little in my living room. Oh crap...