Sorry kids, I really don't have an excuse, I've just been lazy. Speaking of lazy, there is something that really bugs me. You know those electric shopping carts that they have at grocery stores that are meant for little old ladies to do their once a week shopping, or someone with a broken leg who can't walk? Well, how often do you see a little old lady using one? Or someone who is actually injured? Can I ask any more questions in a row...?But seriously, the only people you ever see in these things are overweight white trash twinkie eating fat asses. And the occasional teenager as in the picture above, which is still annoying. I couldn't find a better picture, but at least these teens seem like they like twinkies and look pretty damn WT. But back to fat people riding on the scooters. Ever thought that the reason you are fat is that you are so lazy that you can't even walk while picking out your pork rinds and oatmeal cream pies for the week? F*ck excersizing for 30 minutes a day, you get winded walking from your trailer to your 1987 Astro Van. But at least you have a handicap tag so you can park close to the store. Why do you have a handicap tag? Because you have diabetes. Why do you have diabetes? Because you are fat. Why are you fat? Because you can't even walk down a grocery store aisle under your own power. It's like The Circle of Life for people from the Ozarks. But I picture that theme song being sung by Meatloaf, not Elton John.
Now that I have that off my chest, here are a few updates.
- So I am finally on Facebook, and my employer recently allowed Facebook to be used at work. I feel like I should un-friend my boss, just for safety's sake.
- Speaking of Facebook, my Dad talks trash to me about how many friends he has compared to me. He doesn't know how to send a text message but he is the self proclaimed King of Facebook. At least for the Community of Christ crowd.
- Online dating. Quite possibly the lamest thing since that one season of Saved by the Bell where they replaced Kelly Kapowski with Tori, the dyke looking girl in the leather jacket. Which due to the powers of Wikipedia, I recently found out that the actress who played that character really is a lesbian. Wonder if they asked that while casting her. But anyways, online dating is awesomely bad, but I am almost to my 6 months free because I haven't found my soulmate. All I did find was a few girls who I wasted buying drinks for at some happy hours and a bat shiat crazy asian girl who refused to leave her dog home alone and who covered her entire kitchen floor with pee pads so there wouldn't be any accidents, even though she never left it home alone. She did NOT appreciate my "it's just a dog" comment. In fact she hung up, didn't answer my call back or texts and I've never heard from her since. Wonder why she's single. Maybe having "Made in Korea" tattooed on her lower back should have been a warning sign that she was a little off.
That's all for now folks, I'll try to do updates on a semi-regular basis. Natalia, you happy now? Since I'm doing this now I might not have time to work on my resume for your lady friends regarding your wedding.
Go Royals!!!
