Random Things and Pat's Wedding

Here are a few thoughts and comments.
- So girl number three from the last post, Courtney, didn't quite think of it as a date on Monday. What was I thinking assuming that two single people going out to dinner and then grabbing a drink, all while I pick up the tab, would be considered a date? How foolish of me. In her defense, it didn't start out as a for sure date, we were going to do lunch, then happy hour, and then it turned in to dinner. She could have at least made the fake "how much do I owe" dinner comment, not like a would have let her pay anyways. So, that basically leaves me with no prospects right now. Back to failing at match.com or something.
- Two more signs that I'm getting old. First, I went on my annual float trip last week (pictures soon, I promise), but we actually couldn't float at all due to rain and high water. What scared me is that while I had a really good time, it wasn't the highlight of my year like in the past. I actually had a better time once some of us bailed and stayed at a hotel room on Saturday night. I'm not sure what's going on here, but I don't like it.
Second, I for the first time ever took off flip flops last night to put on tennis shoes for no good reason. I have literally never done that in my life. Hell, I used to wear flip flops when it was snowing outside and 4 degrees out. Pretty soon I'm going to be taking metimucel and yelling at kids to get the hell off my lawn. Although it does bug me when the neighbor kids park their bikes in my yard...
Alright, for those of you that don't know my good friend Pat got suckered in to getting married a few weeks ago. He lives in Atlanta now with his bride, so some of us made the trek down there for the festivities. The highlight of the weekend for me was when the maid of honor, a gorgeous, sweet, innocent little Southern Belle, was saying how much she enjoyed "fluffing" the bride's dress, making sure the train didn't drag, get bunched up, etc. Hearing this girl go around saying what a great fluffer she was was hysterical. For you ladies out there who don't know what a fluffer is, it's one step down from p0rn star. Look it up. Also, this girl looked just like Cameron from the Real World if that gives you a visual.

Here is a shot during the ceremony, with myself being the groomsman second from the right. I am actually down a step there, and somehow I was the second tallest groomsman. Not sure what that says about Pat's friends. Ok, so I know I'm used to RLDS churches that are made of aluminum siding and have a basketball hoop behind the pulpet, but this historical Catholic church had the creepiest crusifiction thing ever. Complete with fake blood.
Here's Pat and I, and yes, I busted out the tuxedo t-shirt during the last hour of the reception. I don't think the bride found it nearly as amusing as I did, and I could possibly have been the first ever person to wear one during a reception at the Biltmore (this was a black tie affair). Also, note that in Pat's hand is "the breadball." What is a breadball you ask? Why it's a ball made of bread silly. To show our true maturity, a ball was made out of 4 slices of bread at breakfast and entertained the entire grooms side of the wedding party for the entire day. Once again, I don't think the bride was that amused.
Here's all the guys from Blue Springs that made it down, Schicker, Tommy, Stout, me, and Jistin.
At about 7 am, I was coming back from dinner and noticed Pat's older brother Matt passed out in the lobby, still in his tux. Being the great friend that I am, I helped him back to the couch in my room. Since this is a family blog, I won't post the picture of me t-bagging him 5 minutes prior to this picture being snapped.

I Swear I've Been Busy

OK Folks, I want to apologize for me sucking at putting up new posts, but I'll try my best to play catch up and post a bunch of new stuff. I've been out of town for a wedding and then a float trip (where we weren't even able to float), plus I started my new side job, plus I've had multiple dates. No, that wasn't a typo. Multiple dates. Here's a rundown of what's going on in my life.

- My good friend from college, Killa (aka Adam Kalie-something really Hawaiian) moved in with me for a summer. No, I didn't play volleyball with him, and he's not actually from Hawaii (grew up in DC, and he's one of two Hawaiians in the country to play ice hockey, with the other one being his brother). Anyways, I'm cutting him a deal and only charging him $100 a month because he's still in school and is paying rent at his place in Lamoni. I bet you have a few questions, like "is he your age Matt?" Yes he is. "Oh, is he working on his doctorate" No. As the quote from Tommy Boy goes, "A lot of people go to college for 7 years." "Yeah, they're called doctors."
- I started my job at Howl at the Moon, working twice a week. It's actually pretty fun, and they have really tight security at the Power and Light district, so my job's pretty easy. But man are drunk people dumb and annoying. I'm glad I know I'm not like that at all when I go out. Right?
- On to what you all have been waiting for...I've gone on a plethora of dates lately!!! OK, so one wasn't even really a date, as she was gracious enough to let me know ASAP that we "should just be friends." Lame. But I had the honor of paying for a nice meal out, then taking her home right away and not even getting a kiss because she "didn't feel that great." Even lamer. And I can't even say her name, as she is a blog fan. But you know who you are out there!!!
Date #2 was a blind date set up by the semi-crazy (in a good way) photographer from my sisters wedding. Long story short, I saw her at another wedding and we chatted, she found out I was single and wanted to set me up. Things started OK on the date, she was a cute redhead, but man, this girl would NOT shut up!!! I consider myself a talker, and I couldnt' get a word in. All I heard the whole time was "blah blah blah", and then she would wink to emphasize points, which is creepy and annoying. Well, my friends said to give her at least a second date, so I texted her a few days later, and what did she write back? NOTHING!!! B**ch, I didn't like you anyways, and now it looks like she has the upper hand. She did have really nice shoes, though.
Date #3 just happened last night, and it was random as well. I had to get a new badge at work, and it turns out the lady that does that is my best friend from HS Drew's (he lived next door to us and was the bass player in the David Cook Band) fiance's best friend from HS. To recap, her best friend from HS is engaged to my best friend from HS. Anyways, we had met before years ago and started talking on work IM, and actually went out. She seems cool and is beautiful (tall, skinny, dark curly hair, dark brown eyes), as well as having a loud laugh which I find makes her confident. The highlight of the night was us going to a dive bar for a post dinner drink, and the wasted lady next to her who may or may not have been homeless talking to her about masterbation and soap operas. Not joking. Hopefully we'll go out again, I'll keep you posted. **EDITORS NOTE** Date #3 (Courtney) is also good friends with a girl that works at Howl, who is dating my friend from HS/boss Jake. Small world. Also, in the post a few months back where I wore my volleyball medal out all night? It was Courtney's bday party that night at a swanky place, so that's why we went next door to drink and do oyster shooters. Even smaller world.

Alright kids, more updates to follow.

The DC Trip: A Free Vacation

Early last week I took a work trip to Washington DC, to help implement a new software system at Children's National Hospital (future employer of my cousin-in-law Dave, which is funny because the only other work trip I have ever taken was to Clarion Health in Indy, where He and my cousin Angie both worked at one point. What are the odds of that?). Anyways, I lucked out and was stationed at a remote site that was pretty much a doctor's office in the suburbs that really didn't need my help, so I had tons of time to sight see. On top of that, I lucked out again and somehow scored a really sweet rental car (Nissan Xterra instead of a two door compact), had a sweet hotel room, and had quite a bit of free time. Oh, and I got bumped from my flight out to DC, so I got a $460 voucher on Southwest Airlines. AND, while waiting on my flight out of KC I ran into David Cook's mom and brother and chatted with them for a bit. A great trip all around. The next three posts give some details of the trip, but here are some random notes:
- An observation about the guys and girls my age from DC: The guys are tools and the girls are way too smart. Every guy I saw had some combination of khaki pants, loafers, and/or hair with a side part. Every girl was no better than semi-cute and could actually carry on intelligent conversations. I am used to guys wearing cargo shorts and a tuxedo t-shirts, and girls being blonde, hot, and not really much to say. I think it has to do with people there actually getting good educations. For some reason I don't think that George Washington University or American University offer Physical Education or Fashion Merchindising as majors.
- So one night I went out to the Georgetown area of town and was eating dinner by myself and having a few drinks. A hot young lassie saddled up next to me at the bar, so I got a little happy. I was actually wearing a collared shirt (no loafers, though), so I thought I was in like flint. Well, then I noticed that the rock on her finger was so large it had to have flying buttresses to support it (look it up if you need to). Oh, and then her 40 year old husband sat down next to her. I'm guessing I wasn't her type anyways. And I bet she wasn't my type either, since she probably knew how to read and all.
- When I was waiting for my flight back to KC, I had the best end to the trip possible. While waiting at the Baltimore airport (yes, I flew out of Balitmore, it rocked!), I ran into Matthew Lesko. Who is Matthew Lesko you ask? He's the crazy mofo in commercials and late night infomercials that wears a bunch of question marks on his suit and says how you can get free government money for pretty much anything you can imagine. Once again, look him up if you don't know who he is.

DC: The Historical Stuff

My second to last day in DC I did the normal touristy stuff and saw the normal sights. Not much else to say, except for the fact that I walked my ass off (really, I got a rash), and everything was pretty cool. I must say thought that the grounds could have been better kept, most city parks have nicer grounds.

Here's the White House. I would make a George Bush joke here but the thought of him and his presidency isn't really something to joke about. Fark Bush. On that note, seeing some of these sights actually made me angry, seeing that at one point truly brave and wise people actually directed our country, and seeing memorials to the men and women who fought for actual causes, as opposed to the sh*t storm that is now. Sorry, I digress...

Washington Monument. Me and my friend Cartee want to start a band and call it Washington Monument and the Phallic Symbols. Not joking. Other names we want to use are Delicious Dish (an obscure SNL reference that I hope some of you will get), and Daytime Stripper. Think about it. But on a serious note, I kinda like how it's stormy in the background with the flags at the bottom. Kinda symbolic.
Lincoln Memorial from afar. Notice the duck at the bottom. There were actually some baby ducks behind her but I didn't get them.
Lincoln Memorial. Very impressive close up, it really is large (the same thing can be said about my c**k, but that's another story). Wow I'm mature...
Here is the Ohio monument in the WWII memorial. Of course I took this picture in rememberance of Grandpa Bill, he really would have loved it. I won't lie, I cried for the first time in well over a year while I was here, just thinking about him and how cool it would have been to visit all of this with him. Love and miss you Wild Bill!!!

DC: The Nationals Game

On my first full night in DC I decided to hit up the Nationals baseball game. After actually figuring out how to navigate the metro, I arrived and bought a ticket for myself. Nothing like sitting by yourself at an event with 30,000 other people. Actually I talked to a few people and pretty much just walked around the whole time and really did enjoy myself.

Here I am at the outfield bar before the game. I was enjoying a Leine's Summer Wheat beer and kept myself busy by talking on the phone to the sister as well as Lisa, my ex-fiance (yeah Lisa, I noticed that you changed it!). But I won't lie, it was kinda akward asking some stranger to take a picture of just me.
The main entrance to the stadium is actually in the ourfield, and here is a view of their scoreboard, which is still nothing compared to the new one at Kaufman in KC. I actually took the picture becuase when I walked in, the where showing a This Week In Baseball segment on the Royals. I was proud rocking my Royals hat and was the only person I saw all night in KC gear. Oh, and this was the same night the Red Sox no-hit the Royals. F*ck.
The stadium from the outfield bar (0k, so maybe I spent most of the game at the bar) after nightfall.
It isn't really easy to see, but here is a shot from of the outfield from the first base side with the Capital building in the background. Pretty cool. Oh, and to the left is the bar that I spent a bit of time in.
This wasn't at the game, but was an ad on the Metro on the way to the game. I took this picture for our friends the Zimmermans, because apparently they aren't the only crazy ones out there that don't eat meat or meat by-products. And really, why is they guy stroking his cock in the picture? HAHAHAHA, get it, the bird is a cock!!! On a side note, there was a black man that may or may not have been homeless sitting in the seat right next to this picture. He stared at me for a good minute or so with a look on his face that said "what the hell is this cracker doing taking a picture of the side of the wall?"

DC: The Asian Supermarket

So right next to by my hotel was a strip mall that had some different asian restaurants (Thai, Chinese, etc), as well as a pretty large asian supermarket. I LOVE Asian food, so I went over there a few times for lunch and did a little shopping at the supermarket. Aside from eating such specialties as Cow Tendon (better than it sounds, not a whole lot of flavor), as well as some bean sprout dish and many others, I took some pics of my adventures. Below are some of my finds.

Here is a picture of the seafood section, which smelled pretty much like the sump pump in my basement after I have a party. I.E, it didn't smell good. Here is this picture are conchs, both in the shell and "naked" (not sure what you call a conch without a shell, so we'll go with naked), as well as some fish I can't pronounce.
OK, so I don't really know how to rotate the picture (just pick up your laptop/monitor and turn sideways), but these are salted duck eggs. In a box. Not refridgerated. Not sure how that works.
Here are durian fruit, which is supposed to be one of the nastiest foods on earth. They are banned from public places in Southeast Asia because they smell so bad. The taste of them has been described as a cross between rotten onions and dirty socks. And this is a fruit. I actually would like to try one some day, but since I was at a hotel I decided against it.
I was going to the Nationals baseball game later in the evening, so I decided to get some pistacios to take since I noticed a bulk foods section. I had to take this picture because never before have I seen dried fish next to nuts. Now I've seen nuts next to other types of "fish", but I won't even go there. Sigh...
This picture doesn't really do this guy justice, but it's the best I could. He was the only other white guy in there, and he was wearing black tennis shoes, REALLY short blue running shorts, and a pretty much see-through white dress shirt. In the face he actually kinda looked like Lt. Dangle from Reno 911, which is fitting considering his shorts.

Saturday Night

This past Saturday I met up with some work friends to take in a Royals game and then head to the Power and Light District (KC's new downtown entertainment area next to the Sprint Center).

The biggest thing about this game was it was the first ever game for Emerson Wood, who will surely be raised correctly by her father and will be a true blue Royals fan. Also, the reason for my awesome face in this photo is because the stranger who took the picture said "on three, say I'd rather be at a Yankee's game." I started booing. Jackass.
I was lucky enough to run in to Baseball Hall of Famer George Brett. He was nice enough to let my friends take a picture of us while toasting our beers.
Here's George and I with the gameday promotion, Budwieser/Royals umbrellas. The two awesome things about this was that I have never in my life owned an umbrella, and there was actually a two hour rain delay. We actually saw the top of the first, had a two hour rain delay, watched the bottom half of the inning, then we headed down to P&L.
We spent most of the evening at PBR's Big Sky, a county themed bar with an awesome live band that plays mostly country and 80's rock, and a mechanical bull. I usually don't go to bars that you have to wait in a line to get in and pay $4 a beer, but something about this place draws me in. Not sure what it is, but it might be that the beer girls pretty much only wear panties and leather chaps. There were a good 10 or so ladies running around in this get-up. And when two of them get on the mechanical bull and ride it together? Wow. All you gentlemen out there that don't live in KC, I think a road trip is in order. Click on the picture to enlarge.
On top of the ass-less chaps beer ladies, I also like going there because my good friend Heather A. is a bartender. Here she is doing some cheesy dance on top of the bar. And no, the bartenders don't have to wear chaps, although Heather has the body to pull it off.