Update

Hey kids, it's been a while since I've done a big, random post on what's going on in my life, but I swear there's a reason. The biggest is that I used to do most of my updates over my lunch break (wink wink) at work, but now I'm actually busy as hell and usually work through my lunch (that is actually true). I work at least twice a week with my side job, have softball one night (thank God that is now over), have been on 5 dates lately (more on that later), I'm starting a new landscaping project, and when I'm not doing one of those things, I am usually drinking with my friends.

But anyways, here are some updates/stories/random thoughts...

-About a month ago I had one of those situations where you swallow your manliness and do something for your girlfriend that you don't really want to do. Oh wait, I don't have a girlfriend, and I had to do this for a friend, without having the incintive that at least I was getting a piece of ass for it.

Anyways, I was at work at our main North Kansas City office, and my friend who works for the same company as I do was at our Lee's Summit location (we both live in LS as well). Well apparently, her "medicine" was running out that day, and she didn't want to drive all the way to NKC to pick up the prescription from our onsite Pharmacy. So I get the following call. Non-Girlfriend: "Matt, will you do me a huge favor." Matt: "Possibly. What is it?" Non-Girlfriend: "I need you to pick a prescription for me at the clinic and I'll pick it up from you tonight at your house." Matt: "Just get it tomorrow." Non-Girlfriend: "I can't miss a day." Matt: "Geezus, it's your birth control isn't it?" Non-Girlfriend: "Maybe." Matt: "God Dammit....Fine...But you owe me a beej...and I'm not picking tampons for you, so don't ask."

So my single ass has to walk into the onsite clinic at work and pick up fucking birth control for a female who I'm not even getting any from, all so she won't get pregnant by whoever the next tall, dark, and handsome Blonde/Mosaic he-whore she goes home with next. So pretty much I am doing all the boyfriend dirty work without even being a boyfriend. Oh, and what happened a few weeks after this? The two of us went out to lunch, and she had to stop by the store on the way back to work to pick up tampons. I stayed in the car.

-Match.com finally doesn't suck!!! A while back I stated how my friend Laura was going to online date for me while she was bored in Milwaukee. Well, she chickened out, so my friend Leah stepped in. Leah is a few years older than I am and she's married with two kids. On top of that, she got married when she was like 14 or something so she's never dated anyone besides her husband. Calm down Leah, I'll let everyone know that you were 19...

Anyways, I didn't meet any women from Leah's barrage of messages and "winks" to the other desperate singles of Kansas City, but in an indirect way it helped me find a girl I've actually been out with a few times. I was online one night seeing who the latest girls I (Leah) emailed, when I saw a profile of a cute girl I hadn't attempted to talk to before. I was too lazy/tired/hungover to send her a message, so I sent her a wink. For those non-online daters out there (oh wait, that's all of you), a wink just lets the person that you saw there profile and you are interested in them. Well, as interested as you can be in someone who you've never talked to and all you know about them is the two paragraphs they wrote.

Anyways, to my shock she actually wrote me back, using proper English and not talking about Nascar, and she seemed pretty funny. After many emails back and forth, we talked a few times on the phone and decided to meet up. Things went really well, we went out a few more times, even met up with friends one night, and last week she came over and I wooed her with a home cooked meal. Hell, I even bought her flowers and sudafed (she's alergic to cats). Anyways, things seem to be going pretty good so far, we're just taking it slow and having a good time. Her name is Lara, she's my age, went to K-State, she writes for a small town newspaper in a Kansas suburb, she has the same sophmoric sense of humor as I, and she is extremely cute. Actually, when we first met I was kinda pissed that she was as attractive as whe was because I figured I didn't have a chance. Luckily for me she must be either REALLY desperate or is attracted to guys with double chins and skin tags on their neck.

-Real work is going pretty good except for the fact that I'm busy as hell due to the fact that our team was downsized, but my boss gives us freedom to actually work on our own and doesn't micromanage like my last boss, so that helps a ton. My side job is actually pretty fun, mostly becuase I know what I'm doing now and I can be a dick to people and it's totally cool. Although I'm one of the worlds smallest/wimpiest bouncers ever, so I need to learn some takedown techniques or something for when the day comes that I actually have to get physical with someone. Carrie, if you're reading this get in touch so you can show me some of your cop moves. Oh man, I'm having to get take down techniques from a girl. Man I'm a pussy.

-So last weekend me and Killa went out to lunch with my Dad after we picked up some landscaping bricks from the parents house. We went to Wendy's and as we were chowing down on Jr Bacon Cheeseburgers and Frosty's, when I noticed Dad's shirt. As I'm sitting across from the not in very good shape man eating the 1/4 pound hamburger combo meal, his t-shirt reads "I went hungry so kids don't have to." It apparently was from some Habitat for Humanity thing, but the irony of the whole thing was pretty funny. Killa wants to get my dad one of the "I Beat Anorexia" shirts. Dad even thought everything was pretty funny too, so that was good. And what sucks is that I know I'm going to look/act exactly like him in 30 years. Sigh.